Fiona's Quiet Life

In the pho­to­graph are Orly (dark hair) and Nat­alie just before our talk on radio this morning.

From being a per­son who was never out of the house i am turn­ing into one who is never in. today it was meet­ing two other free­sharers for a talk on ‘Sunny Govan Radio’.….took me forever to find the place, i never real­ised just how long Govan road is, i met Orly and Nat­alie there, i knew Orly from being given books and cof­fee by her and i recog­nised Natalie’s user name when we got talking.

then i had to go and sign some­thing to do with my mother. i was going to lunch with Hedda but she was feel­ing a bit off today so we have res­ched­uled, i am turn­ing into a ’ lady what lunches’.

It is a good thing i came home because my new neigh­bour across the road had locked her­self out in the rain, so we had a good gos­sip and com­par­ing of notes on our fath­ers who were at the same uni­ver­sity stud­ing the same thing with only a year between them so they prob­ably knew each other. I had the final year din­ner book but her father gradu­ated in 1925 and my father in 1926.

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that is the longest i have been out of the house for years.…..and the changes that have been wrought since last i drove along the clyde express­way, intel­lec­tu­ally i knew there had been built a new road bridge, nick­named the ‘squinty bridge’ because it crosses the river at an angle, but never hav­ing seen the road­works it didnt enter my head till i was stopped at traffic lights at one end of it .…..“wait a minute pal” says i to myself in a broad glas­gow accent.“whar the deil did that com­fay and whar dis it go tay?”..but i didn’t invest­ig­ate because i was on the way to visit Daugh­ter to play with grand­sons wii while they were at school, it is a great ‚machine i want one, all that ten­nis play­ing excer­cise without hav­ing to leave the house.

one boy went to drama and singing class and the other went to mar­tial arts class tonight , so mar­isa and i ate curry. then i came home.

I had, on the instruc­tions of my law­yer , gone into town, “my ‘girl’ will give you a copy of the will and she will take you upstairs to a per­son who will do it all for you as we dont do wills any more”.….…he hadn’t told her that, she just gave me the will and said she knew of nobody who would deal with it for me. so after get­ting all his papers together and shlep­ping uptown in the pour­ing rain with them i am left won­der­ing what to do next. def­in­itely not what hap­pens in the movies. still i am a grown-up now so i shall deal with it.

Abi­gail has had a nice let­ter from an ex patient who remembered him and named her baby girl after her.…very moving.

and people keep send­ing nice mes­sages through basil’s brother.

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feel­ing bet­ter again tonight, did some use­ful things,sorted out lots of bits of paper,bought some food, spoke to people on phones, arranged to meet friend for lunch.thinking about hav­ing a haircut.

i am wor­ried about the spider in the bath , what will it eat, if i wash it down the plug­hole where will it end up. i am not going near it they are too ‘sudden’.….…all those legs.

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Last night was the worst, some­how the ini­tial stunned feel­ing is going and now the grief sets in and the one per­son who would put his arms round me and make everything bet­ter is not here to do it. I put his dress­ing gown on and even­tu­ally fell asleep that way.

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It occured to me this morn­ing that if he died 2 and a half weeks ago then i hadn’t changed the sheets on my bed for nearly three weeks.….…oh the shame of it!!.…..so now all is fresh and clean again, the room is a mess of news­pa­pers, unopened mail, opened mail, old photographs,chocolates, and bits of computer.a blood pres­sure machine from last night when i was feel­ing so ill.still got head­ache but i think it is from twist­ing my neck to play com­puter games ‚so my next task is to remove this won­der­ful computer/television to another room or i may never leave this room and have a stiff neck all my days.

today i am invited to lunch in a delight­ful local deli/cafe called Mise en Place.….where the res­id­ent chef pro­duces simple tasty food. i shall be eat­ing with his very old and faith­ful friends Izzy and Simone Green and maybe their lovely grand­chil­dren. i hope i can do it without get­ting upset. i never know when it is going to get me, and moist eyes and a red nose force them­selves upon me .

am going to beg a neigh­bour for an old copy of the news­pa­per obit for non com­puter lit­er­ate friends in New York.they are in their 90s so can be for­given for the non com­puter bit.…maybe i could ask for one on free­share, that would be a first. there is going to be a pro­gram on ‘sunny govan radio’ next week about free­share i am tak­ing part in it.

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