Fiona's Quiet Life

there was mar­ital strife yes­ter­day, he being a retired doc­tor, said i should call a doc for my cold, me know­ing just what would hap­pen if i did refused , he said i should be on anti­bi­ot­ics, i said it is a virus and doesn’t respond to anti­bi­ot­ics. and a doc would just say take plenty of flu­ids and take paracetamol. he sulked so even­tu­ally i dug out an old bottle of out of date (1999) aug­mentin. replaced them with paracetamol and took them , he is happy and my cold is cur­ing itself as they do,though i did nip out to buy some phol­cod­ine as the cough was becom­ing painful.

then he wouldn’t go to sleep last night till 4 a.m. and was up again at quarter to seven. he kept nag­ging me for sleep­ing pills .

A. i dont have any

and

B. his liver has enough to cope with.

so he nagged me for an extra dose of ora­morph, so i told him if i gave it to him then he wouldn’t have tomor­rows dose and any­way it has the same effect as alco­hol i.e. frag­ments sleep.

so i yelled at him to leave me alone and he yelled at me to stop yelling.

he is now asleep and i am tired and coughing.with sore ribs .

but we are friends again.

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So is it just a com­mon cold or a stress reaction?.….i know i did it when he had his bypass 17 years ago,in those days of Fahren­heit my tem­per­at­ure was 103.now it is 38 and rising , he is doing OK, the heart fail­ure nurse came out today and took blood the res­ults were not too bad. the oxy­gen cyl­in­ders run out with fright­en­ing speed. but i am going to get a con­denser which will be much bet­ter. Can’t write more feel­ing rotten.

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We have been up 3 times so far, he can barely stand, my sci­at­ica is back and elbow is sore, not com­plain­ing just record­ing life as it is.

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he is asleep in his corner of the room and i am exhausted but happy in my corner of the room…they phoned me at mid­day to say i could have him home so i rushed out to stock up with food for us and chocol­ate for the nurses rushed home had a quick lunch, strapped an oxy­gen cilin­dar on the back seat, then wnt to col­lect him , got him dressed them we waited for an hour and a half for his vari­ous med­ic­a­tions to come from the hos­pital pharmacy.he was get­ting hot and cross and was nag­ging me to take him home and come back later for the pills etc. but at last everything was ready so i wheel him to the car and bring him howm in the freez­ing cold. then i couldn’t get him up the three front door steps.….just when i thought we were both going to expire we got inside. he went to bed and had two quilts on to get warm and some hot soup and has been asleep ever since. i have been wash­ing things he had in hos­pital, sort­ing out his med­ic­a­tions and scrub­bing the com­mode which i found in the garden for some reason, i must have put it out thee to dry after wash­ing it down some time ago.

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It has occurred to me , wide awake here in the wee small hours that all they are doing in that hos­pital is mak­ing him miser­able, he is not get­ting bet­ter, he is prob­ably get­ting worse and we are being kept apart for no good reason.

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